Gay big dad
It was 4:00 a.m. on another blistery, humid overnight in Dubai. I sat there wasted, staring out the 20-foot window of my 58th-floor hotel room.
Silently staring at the expansive city below me, staring at the lights in the darkness on this seventh night in a row, staring at—nothingness.
On that night, it seemed the perfect metaphor for my life to date: An empty, endless struggle to find my authenticity.
Hovering somewhere in the traditions of my upbringing, the cultures of the world I had so vehemently explored in my search of me, my homosexuality, and the desires that did not seem to fit into any of those, I knew the animation I wanted existed.
Growing up in a big Italian family was like creature part of a lively celebration of life. The aroma of Nonna's cooking always lingered, inviting us to gather around the bustling family table.
As we laughed and argued, each dish told a story of our heritage. Our home echoed with the sounds of chatter and storytelling in our raucous, yet endearing, Italian cadence.
As I entered my teen years and assessed where my identity as a gay man fit into these traditions, I began to question if the expectations set before me truly reflected my possess desires,
My father was queer. He was born in 1918. In my 20s, he started telling me stories about his early life. He was out in the 1930s at a time when it wasn’t usual. He had dreams that most would not believe he dared to desire . The problem with my dad telling me all of this was that he was still married to my mother.
In 1939, at a party in the Hollywood Hills with gay filmmakers and musicians, he was arrested. Police officers handcuffed the men, herded them into a van, and took them to jail. The following morning, he appeared before a judge for sentencing. Because the arresting officer couldn’t swear that he saw him touching his dance partner, he was released.
Then he was caught up in an illegal sting operation in Pasadena that targeted gay men. They were extorted by the police for cash payments in return for conditional release. His dreams of being a schoolteacher and living with his partner were destroyed.
As Earth War II loomed, he attempted to enlist in the U.S. Navy, but he was rejected when his log revealed that he was gay. The Army eventually standard him, perhaps because war was imminent and able-bodied men, even gay ones, were needed.
Before my father shipped
Rainbow Families
By Jacqui Tomlins, as seen under Rainbow Families
Gay men are taking an increasingly active role in parenting through fostering, co-parenting and surrogacy. In recent years, the increased prevalence of out gay dads has helped raise understanding and drive a positive shift in community attitudes. Rodney Chiang-Cruise talks about the challenges and rewards of being a queer dad – and highlights some of the specific issues they face.
How unlike is it existence a gay dad?
Being a dad – irrespective of how you identify your gender or sexuality – involves all the same hopes and fears, and all the bliss and excitement, too. So much of what we execute every day is just parenting and the fact that you’re gay or trans or unbent is irrelevant. That said, there are some unique challenges for gay dads, but most of the time they can be overcome with some nurture and a positive attitude.
Many rainbow families find the people in their immediate community – teachers, neighbours, coaches – are really supportive, and that most of the negative stuff they notice comes from the TV. The people who oppose us have a giant platform and a loud voice, but it’s important to
Father opens up about coming out to his 3 sons: I'm still the same dad as before
"Good Morning America" is featuring stories in celebration of Lgbtq+ fest Month. Scott Takacs, a 46-year-old and father of three, penned a personal essay about his experience coming out as a gay man to his sons. Read about his journey below in his own words.
Coming out at 42
I was 42 years old when I came out to my wife. It was 15 months later that I started that same conversation with my three boys -- 9-year-old twins and an 11-year-old.
The whole experience is somewhat of a blur, mostly in part to the fact that at that point in my experience there was a lot of change happening and some significant pent-up emotions. There wasn't much of a plan, no guidebook in hand, only goals that I hoped my boys would start the process of sympathetic and accepting their dad for whom I truly was: a gay man.
It had been a long 15 months since coming out to my wife, an experience I unfortunately wouldn't explain as positive, fun or something I ever want to restate. It was wrought with the happiness of finally telling the closest person in my genuine identity, while simultaneously ripping her