Middle aged gay men
Gay Men in Mid-Life: Now What?
You bought the condo. You got the profession. You might even have the boyfriend/girlfriend. You came out. You made friends. You saved for retirement.
You took the trip. You ate the food. You posted the photos.
And yet, you wonder: Is this all there is?
For many of us, these are the experiences of gay men at midlife.
We allocate the first half of our lives doing and striving. And when most of the goals are met, we feel lost and disappointed.
Everyone talks about getting, but no one talks about what happens after you get it. It doesn’t feel right to whine about having a lot.
If we scamper away from this discomfort we may end up with too many hangovers, too much second on the internet, or too many disappointing hook ups.
Things get interesting if we stay curious about this uncomfortable experience of “blah”. Underneath the boredom or light depression is a affluent world of feelings and a recent vision waiting to be discovered.
For most men, the first half of animation is about building a life and building the earth. The external takes most of our energy and commitment.
In the second half of life, men often start to pay more attention to the internal realm to figure out what i
I finally came out as lgbtq+ at 55 years old after 2 marriages with women. Telling my children was surprisingly easy.
I'm a middle-aged man who has been married twice and widowed. I'm also a father to two grown children. And I'm gay.
My sexuality was a burden I carried for so drawn-out, and hiding it became part of my core identity, weighing me down. But I finally had the courage to reach out at 55. Honestly, I sometimes wish I hadn't waited so long.
Growing up in the '80s was not a trustworthy environment for a queer kid, so I chose to cover my true self
Growing up in the '80s in Las Vegas, I was in a distinct, difficult time. I knew as early as 12 or 13 that I was different, but in those days, I had no frame of reference for what it meant to be gay. Blatant homophobia and pressure to fit in left me thinking I was some sort of freak. I avoided getting close to anyone and buried my secret, in favor of a more "normal" experience.
I eventually met and married a superb woman who knew my classified, and we started a family together. When cancer stole her a few years later, I was left with two immature children to raise. During that long journey of grief and single parenthood, I had a few m
Q: I am a gay man in my late 50s and include never been in a relationship. I am so lonely, and the painful emptiness I feel is becoming absolutely unbearable. In my early 20s, I hooked up off and on, but it never developed into anything. I have always told myself that’s OK; I’m not a people person or a relationship kind of guy. I have a few lesbian friends but no male friends. I have social anxiety and can’t go to bars or clubs. When one-night stand apps were introduced, I used them infrequently. Now I go totally unnoticed or am quickly ghosted once I reveal my age. Most nonwork days, my only interactions are with people in the service industry. I am well groomed, employed, a homeowner, and always gentle to people. I leave to a therapist and take antidepressants. However, this painful loneliness, depression, aging, and feeling unnoticed come across to be getting the best of me. I cry often and would really like it all to end. Any advice? —Lonely Aging Gay
A: “In the very compact term, LAG needs to tell his therapist about the suicidal ideation,” said Michael Hobbes. “In the longer term, well, that’s going to take a bit more to unpack.”
Hobbes is a
Paul Simpson, Middle-aged homosexual men, ageing and ageism: Over the rainbow?
Citation
Ward R (2017) Paul Simpson, Middle-aged gay men, ageing and ageism: Over the rainbow?. Review of: Middle-aged lgbtq+ men, ageing and ageism: Over the rainbow?, by Paul Simpson, Basingstoke, Hampshire, Palgrave Macmillan, 2015, 264pp., ISBN 978-1-137-43523-1. Ageing and Society, 37 (4), pp. 875-877. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0144686X16001586
Notes
Output Type: Book Review
Journal
Ageing and Society: Volume 37, Issue 4
| Status | Published |
|---|---|
| Publication date | 30/04/2017 |
| Publication date online | 28/02/2017 |
| Date standard by journal | 14/03/2016 |
| Publisher | Cambridge University Press |
| ISSN | 0144-686X |
| eISSN | 1469-1779 |
| Item discussed | Middle-aged lgbtq+ men, ageing and ageism: Over the rainbow?, by Paul Simpson, Basingstoke, Hampshire, Palgrave Macmillan, 2015, 264pp., ISBN 978-1-137-43523-1 |